Note: On Tuesdays, you can find me at Your Daily Tripod, owned by my friend TonyD. A longer version of the post below appears there.
We were okay at first, sharing some outside interests and friendships. What we did at work didn’t intersect much.
Then I moved into a new role, a role for which he had little respect and that he didn’t think our
employer needed. More than two years have passed with him ignoring me, seeking to go around me, or yelling at me, which is not part of our work culture at all. I just kept doing my job and tried hard not to respond in kind. For the most part, I think, I succeeded.
Last week, he came into my cubicle. I could feel myself tensing up, putting on my spiritual armor. He said, “First, I want to apologize. I’ve made it hard for you to do your job.” I nodded and said thank you, and a few seconds of quiet passed. Then we talked about some of his upcoming projects, and how, working together, we can get them done. It was the most pleasant conversation we’ve had in a long time.
When he left, I was tempted to contact his boss or mine to see if there’d been an intervention of some sort or a performance action. I decided not to, and to accept his change of heart at face value.
I’d like to think that when we come to our all-knowing Father, He doesn’t withhold His forgiveness while He weighs whether it’s 100 percent sincere or just how much self-interest or desperation is involved. I hold tight to the belief that He just forgives, even when I’ve come to Him kicking and screaming, trusting that with God, even 10 percent sincerity is better than zero percent sincerity, and that the rest will come as I grow.
And if I believe that, I need to show it to others and not investigate their motivations. Time will show whether the effort to set things right was heartfelt; my job is to accept it.
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