Moments

My sister and I were talking about those special moments in your life. Call them magical, call them spiritual, call them what you will, these are the moments when you connect with another person in a deeper, more meaningful way than you ever have before or perhaps ever will again. Sometimes they’re sexual, sometimes they’re not.

I wondered aloud about writing a book that would include research into why we have those moments, and then talking to people about what happened, how they felt, how they knew it was a special moment… and what the viewpoints of others involved were. I know on my faith journey, there have been conversations and acts that affected me profoundly, and the other person didn’t think it was a big deal. And, I know of a few that have gone the other way.

I also wondered about the ability to re-create those moments. My ex-husband and I shared a lot of those moments, but I like where we are right now, cordial but sporadic contact. A couple of college friends greatly influenced my music tastes, but we were never what you would call close to begin with, and I wouldn’t expect to be close to them now (in fact, I wouldn’t expect to know what’s up with them today except for the wonders of Facebook). I guess it comes down to that there are some relationships I’d like to manage beyond the occasional “Remember when we did that? It was really cool” but not to include more than a really deep, intense, two-hour conversation every ten years or so.

I’m reading Thomas Merton’s No Man Is an Island, and in it he notes a lot of people hung out with Jesus, but he only called a few of them close friends. I get that. But of that larger “knew you when” group, I wish there were a way to get that laser-connection every few years or decades.