On Mondays, I answer questions frequently asked by those considering a return to the Catholic Church. How do I know this stuff? I was away for more than 30 years myself, and am the co-author of When They Come Home: Ways to Welcome Returning Catholics, a book for pastors and parish leaders interested in this ministry.
I left the Church because I prayed hard and my loved one died anyway. I’m struggling with why to come back if God doesn’t listen to what I want. Where’s the “love” in that?
God does answer our prayers—in his time and way, not necessarily the way we would like them. A friend of mine tells about a time that out of frustration with God, 
she wrote down on a note card what she considered “ten impossible prayers” and put them in her Bible. A year later, the card fell out of the Bible. All but two had been answered—precisely in the way she had prayed.
Sometimes, our prayers don’t get answered as neatly. But that doesn’t mean they don’t get answered. The person who died was relieved of pain and suffering. The marriage that ended despite everyone’s best efforts could clear the way for a better relationship with another person, or oneself. That failure to be promoted could open up time with family or friends or for additional ministry. The long view often shows us that what happened turned out to be the best for everyone involved. Funny, the way God cares for us even when we believe he’s not listening or answering.
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