I’m not much for singing in church. My usual Mass is at 7:30 a.m., stripped down, no cantor. When I do happen upon a Mass with meaningful music, I end up in tears, perhaps because although I’m a writer, there’s something about the meeting of beautiful words and awe-inspiring notes that overwhelms me. “The Summons” is one of those songs; “As the Deer” is another.
The past two weeks, a Mass song from my childhood has been rolling through my mind. It’s called “This Is My Body,” and the pertinent verse is:
On your journey to the kingdom,
You will find the strength you need
At this table of remembrance
Of my rising from the dead.
Strength is something I’ve needed. Someone I once was extremely close to had a birthday. I haven’t seen him in person for a couple years, but we were still in a “Happy birthday/Merry Christmas/Happy Thanksgiving” zone. Earlier this year, he wanted to resume a relationship, and said there was no way we could be “just friends.” But the relationship he wanted was out of the question for me… and so, it ended.
It was hard not to call on his birthday or send an e-mail, even though I knew doing either would have only caused more pain for both of us. In the times of greatest temptation, I found myself chanting that verse from “This Is My Body.” I made it. The temptation has passed, and next November will be easier. And so, the journey continues.
