I’ve been out of town on an unplanned trip for much of the week, to see people I didn’t know and who weren’t expecting me. And I have to admit, I was a little surprised–and gratified–by the “me” who showed up.
I’m a blunt, plainspoken woman. No matter how I work to tame that side of me, it will never completely go away. It’s who I am, the way God made me, and in moderation, those characteristics are valuable. I am also a good storyteller, a great listener, and someone who’s passionate about most things she does. I also am someone who doesn’t want to see people hurt–but who wants even less to be hurt. As a result, I sometimes strike first verbally in uncertain, unfamiliar situations, and that characteristic is damaging to me and to others.
But not this time.
I was kind, even when people misspoke or seemed to be contradicting themselves. I was patient and asked clarifying questions instead of jumping down their throats when they didn’t provide the information I needed. I asked about their backgrounds and families instead of having a laser-focus on The Work. The Work still got done; it just got done without sarcastic remarks or eye rolling on my part, or drawn faces and forced smiles on theirs.
I don’t know if it’s that I’m more comfortable with who I am these days or that this slowing down during Lent also has slowed down my thoughts enough to allow the Holy Spirit to do its thing when I’m in stressful situations. I do know that it was a beautiful feeling to end meetings without later kicking myself for what I said or how I reacted. To paraphrase that prayer attributed to St. Francis, I focused more on giving people what they needed to provide information and less on distrusting them and pushing them away. As a result, I pray I will remember these days for a long time.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Melanie, you sound a lot like me. It has been a long process and change was only possible through The Holy Spirit. I still slip up here and there, but God only knows how much I want to be that understanding woman, who waits for people to fully explain, and then to give it prayerful consideration (which sometimes has to be immediate – Call on The Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts and words) before I answer. I’ve been know to be critical, and I can only pray that God will assist me in continuing to change and be a more Christ-like woman as I drift on into my golden years, which are coming faster and faster every day.
It is such a good thing, Melanie, when you recognize yourself for who you are, faults and all, AND that you WANT to change and be a better person. God bless you for this +++
Abbey ♥
Thanks, Abbey! Totally with you there! Keep up the good work and God bless!