Dear Cardinals,
I am among the least of your sisters in Christ. I was baptized Catholic, was catechized enough to receive the Sacraments of Reconciliation, the Eucharist, and Confirmation, then left shortly before my sixteenth birthday for silly reasons. I started considering a return in earnest around the time you elected your colleague who would become Benedict XVI. About seven months after he ascended to the Chair of St. Peter, I came back to Church with
more joy and gratitude than you can imagine.
Since then, I have felt loved–and challenged–in ways I could have never imagined. One of your fellow ordained procured in less than a week an annulment for my twenty-two-year marriage that occurred outside the Church. Another of your brothers absolved me of sins I never thought could be forgiven, including judgmentalism and a total lack of self-worth.
I have learned many things from reading Scripture and our Teachings and from listening to and conversing with priests and laypeople since Christmas Day 2005 when, tears streaming down my face, I received the Eucharist for the first time since 1972. I have done my best, failing often, to reflect Christ to others in personal contact, in my writing, and in my general conduct. Despite the failures, I know one thing for certain in this world: I am Catholic. I believe in our Church. And I pray the Holy Spirit is with each and every one of you as you prepare to discern who should next lead this fractured, contentious, struggling to be faithful Body of Christ.
You have been at this far longer than I. The last pope selected when I was at one with the Church was Venerable Paul VI, who was tapped on my seventh birthday. I won’t presume to give you advice on who would best reform the Vatican’s financial dealings or who would best help us heal from sex scandals or who would best illumine the beauties of our Church to those who have left in anger or discontent or boredom.
I will, however, be praying that each and every one of you spend time with the Gospel passages in which Jesus identifies the two greatest commandments: Love of God with all our hearts and souls, and love of our neighbors as ourselves. For, as a priest told me as I was making my return, if you get those two right, everything else falls into place.
In Christ’s love,
Melanie
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