I’m bidding farewell to a bit of ministry that’s fed me for the past eight or so years. At the end of April, I will be stepping down as assistant director of the St. Davids Christian Writers’ Conference and as a board member of the association that puts on this annual 
conference in Grove City, Pennsylvania.
It’s among the harder things God has asked me to do. I first presented at St. Davids in 2005 after my friend Carmen Leal basically told them they couldn’t not have me as a speaker. (Carmen in 2003 was the first and only person to ask if I’d accepted Christ as my personal Lord and savior. I lied. She knew it, but didn’t push me.) At St. Davids, my roommate, Virelle Kidder, prayed over me the night of my forty-ninth birthday when I fell apart and told her I was a fraud and didn’t know God at all.
They asked me back again in 2006, and put me on the association board. I think I became assistant conference director about three years later. Director Lora Zill has become one of my best friends. I met amazing, spirit-filled people like Michele Huey, Linda Au, Bonnie Rose, Angie Dilmore, Shirley Stevens, Roberta Brosius… I’ll stop there, because really, there are too many to list. The St. Davids folks have become not only my friends, but in many ways parts of my extended family.
But I have found myself reflecting on another lesson Virelle taught me, something she said when she began reinventing her own writing ministry: “I may not be successful, but I will be obedient.” I’ve discerned that God desires me to focus less on fulfilling my personal needs of love and attention via St. Davids, and more on sharing the Word in other ways, whether it be through promotion of Sisterhood of Saints, my book to be published in September through Franciscan Media, or through writing another book or more devotions.
I will miss the regular contact with my St. Davids family, though my resignations don’t mean I’ll never attend another conference or keep up those treasured friendships. I have no idea whether this new direction will bring me the personal satisfaction I’ve received at St. Davids. But as my sister in Christ Virelle taught me, I will be obedient.
Coming into the Church as an adult convert, learning about obedience was a steep curve for me. So many Catholics have rejected obedience, but I have found that it is one of the best ways to learn humility before God and our fellow man. The discipline of obedience requires a sincere desire to love and be loved by God, but also a requirement of formation — knowing yourself and what the Church asks of you, studying so your own conscience is well-grounded in truth, and most importantly, spending whatever time in prayer is required to perceive, to know, what God wants of you. Even if the “why” is not clear, if God’s desire for you is clear, obedience is the next step. As our friend Kathy Adams said, all He requires is that one next step.
Blessings, Mel, and thank you so much for these reflections!
Thanks, Trudy. His grace is sufficient, never mind the whys or the wherefores. May we all remember that.
Good for you, Mel, for recognizing God’s lead and following. Certainly, you will be missed at St. Davids, but I also know that your decision will be respected and you will always be a part of “the family.” I feel that, too, even though I can rarely make it to the conferences.
It is a special community, isn’t it?