Note: On Tuesdays, you can find me at Your Daily Tripod, owned by my friend TonyD. A longer version of the post below appears there.
This time around, it started off nicely enough, a conversation about our summers and mutual travel experiences. Lots of smiles, a few nods and laughs. I congratulated myself; maybe this time with this acquaintance would be different. Maybe the judge-y remarks, not just about me but about those we were with, wouldn’t come. Maybe it was the start of friendship.
The next day, the two of us were with a group of people. I made a comment in passing about a conversation I’d had with someone else. She 
stopped me to say I had shared information that I shouldn’t have. I tried to explain that what I had said wasn’t exactly top secret, classified stuff. But even when others agreed, she wouldn’t let it go. I gave up and became silent.
The following day, we were preparing for an activity when she proceeded to tell me I was going to do it all wrong—not that I’d done anything yet, not that she was providing instruction, not that anyone’s life or salvation would be in danger. In essence, I told her to back off. Her reaction was to tell people for days how nasty I’d been to her. A couple people contacted me to say she’s had a troubled life, and so we just need to accept her as she is.
The more I thought about it, the more I thought both they and I were wrong. Returning fire for fire surely isn’t the answer, and is a mode of action I still default to too often. I recognize that. I work at it. But neither is saying nothing.
Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11, NRSVCE)
Paul’s words resonate with me. Sometimes, being a sister in Christ involves loving correction. My acquaintance and I would have both been far better served if I had listened rather than reacted, if I had asked questions about what was behind her comments—Fear? Perfectionism? Rightly placed concern about my past actions? Then we might have had a true conversation. And that is what I will strive for in future encounters, not only with her, but with others I find difficult to love.
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