Returning Catholics FAQs: Friendly Inquisitions

On Mondays, I answer questions frequently asked by those considering a return to the Catholic Church. How do I know this stuff? I was away for more than 30 years myself, and am the co-author of  When They Come Home: Ways to Welcome Returning Catholics, a book for pastors and parish leaders interested in this ministry.

I’ve been back at Church for a few months now, while I don’t know people by name, I generally sit in the same place so know a few by sight. I’ve been traveling for work the past few weeks, and when I stopped to get groceries the other day, I saw one of those returning_autodafe_wikimedia_publicdomain_101616people in the store. She introduced herself and we chatted a little, then she said she hadn’t seen me for a while and wondered if I was all right. I don’t know whether to be insulted because she was being nosy, or happy that she noticed. Help!

I’d take it as a sign of a good faith community. Yes, it would have been nice if she’d introduced herself in church. But how wonderful that she did at the store, and I’d be inclined not to take offense if she didn’t probe beyond your comfort level. People in community look out for each other. Christ was all about inclusion; remember the parables about the shepherd who left his sheep to find the lost one or the woman who searched high and low for the missing coin? I’d take this conversation as simple Christian charity. If you were ill or facing another challenge, perhaps this woman would have offered some assistance or resources.

Perhaps there’s a lesson for you here. If you’re sitting by the same people every week, consider introducing yourself, by first name anyway. Some of them may just nod and say nothing. I’ve had that happen. But that opening may lead you to some of the best conversations and friendships you’ve ever had. I’ve had that happen too.

 

By Melanie

Melanie Rigney is the author of Radical Saints: 21 Women for the 21st Century and other Catholic books. She is a contributor to Living Faith and other Catholic blogs. She lives in Arlington, Virginia. Melanie also owns Editor for You, a publishing consultancy that since 2003 has helped hundreds of writers, publishers, and agents.

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