On Mondays, I answer questions frequently asked by those considering a return to the Catholic Church. How do I know this stuff? I was away for more than 30 years myself, and am the co-author of When They Come Home: Ways to Welcome Returning Catholics, a book for pastors and parish leaders interested in this ministry.
I had an affair. Does the Church still want me?
Of course. God can forgive anything. However, adultery is a serious offense against God, your spouse, the person with whom you had the affair, yourself, and possibly other people (such as the other person’s spouse, your children, and so on). Talk with a confessor about the reasons your or the other person’s marital vows were broken—boredom? Lust? Low self-esteem? Revenge?—and what you can do in the future to work through those issues. Many affairs end sorrowfully and painfully, and even those in which the people involved eventually marry begin at a disadvantage, because there is evidence of a willingness to break trust. Seek God’s forgiveness, accept it, and pray to be open to a right relationship should you be blessed with the opportunity.
