Forgiveness: Not Seven Times but Seventy-Seven

Note: On Tuesdays and some Sundays, you can find me at Your Daily Tripod, owned by my friend TonyD. A longer version of the post below appears there.

Payback, a good friend once publicly observed, is hell.

We avail ourselves of the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation. We atone for our sins, large and small, public and private. We make reparations. We know the Lord forgives us, even when we find it difficult to forgive ourselves. We pray for the faith that once an offense is cleansed, the debt is paid, the spirit clean again.

And then, WHAM! Someone who was affected by that very action for which we’ve been forgiven roars in with a vengeance. Maybe God’s forgiven us for our addiction, our workplace anger, our verbal abuse to a family member or friend, but the other person hasn’t. The payback can make us feel like we’re in hell. That payback can separate us from family members and friends. It can leave us very, very angry… and very, very lonely.

Regardless of how we might feel in the moment, however, payback is not hell unless we make it so. It can be uncomfortable, nasty, painful, and many other things, but payback inflicted upon us does not have to separate us from the Lord, which is what true hell is… and if we land there after our earthly lives, there’s no way back.

So what to do when payback hits us? Exactly what Jesus tells us in the parable of the unforgiving servant: Forgive, even when it seems like the unforgivable. After all, doesn’t the Lord do that for each of us every day?

By Melanie

Melanie Rigney is the author of Radical Saints: 21 Women for the 21st Century and other Catholic books. She is a contributor to Living Faith and other Catholic blogs. She lives in Arlington, Virginia. Melanie also owns Editor for You, a publishing consultancy that since 2003 has helped hundreds of writers, publishers, and agents.

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