Friendship on Small Plates

I love restaurants that offer small plates. Portion control is the biggest challenge I face with food, and it helps to know the right amount is going to come to the table. Eliminating the temptation/opportunity to just keep eating because it’s there is important to me.

Recently, I went to dinner with some friends at one of those small-plate places. We had a lovely time, better than we’ve had in the past, to be honest. That started me thinking about how the small-plate philosophy also applies to relationships. The people I was with are fine in small doses, every three or four months. I like them, but our life experiences and worldviews aren’t so aligned that I share my deepest hopes and fears with them. I suspect they’d say the same about me, that my degree of intensity and introspection isn’t something they want to deal with on a daily or weekly or monthly basis. But a few times per year works for us all.

Other people in my life come in big doses. I have contact, in person or via e-mail, every week or so (if not more frequently), and we know each other’s struggles or victories. We reach out when we need help, and when something great happens. Those friendships are like huge vats of healthy vegetables; portion size isn’t critical.

In the past, I’ve sometimes felt guilty about not seeing some friends more frequently… and also about coming home after some get-togethers feeling drained and cranky. Going forward, I’m going to celebrate my small-plate friends for what they are, and hope they’ll do the same!

By Melanie

Melanie Rigney is the author of Radical Saints: 21 Women for the 21st Century and other Catholic books. She is a contributor to Living Faith and other Catholic blogs. She lives in Arlington, Virginia. Melanie also owns Editor for You, a publishing consultancy that since 2003 has helped hundreds of writers, publishers, and agents.

4 comments

  1. I feel like our time at the Benedictines’ was a buffet and I carried a tray.
    Love the small plate image.

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