The Positive Power of “I Can’t”

I’ve lost significant weight twice in my life, once through a weight-loss program and once through a low-carb diet. In both cases, I  put most of the pounds back on, mainly because I viewed the process as reaching a goal and then going back to my old eating habits… which included a decided lack of reality on portion size and the inability to leave any potato chips in an open bag.

I get all the psychology of effecting change in your life with positive statements: “I choose not to have more than one cookie.” “I prefer to have two small cubes of cheese.” “I’d rather be able to shop in the regular section of Macy’s than to have another brownie.” “I’ll wait ten minutes/an hour/until tomorrow to open that can of nuts.” But none of that has worked for me.

This time, I’m working at lifestyle changes. I’ve lost about 30 pounds this year with a sustainable three-times-per-week regimen at the gym and prepared meal purchases that are slowly but surely showing me the portions that normal people eat. I’ve got another 40 to go, but haven’t set a timetable for doing it. The weight comes off more slowly post-menopause, and I won’t set myself up for failure and disappointment.

One thing I have found–for right now, saying, “I can’t” keeps me honest. “I can’t keep potato chips in the house.” “I can’t have one chocolate kiss because it won’t stop there.” “I can’t have a second helping of scallops.” “I can’t skip the gym tonight.”

Maybe it sounds limiting and negative and unlikely to succeed long term. And maybe I’ll eventually move to what one friend said is even more powerful: “I won’t.”

But for right now, “I can’t” is working just fine.

 

 

By Melanie

Melanie Rigney is the author of Radical Saints: 21 Women for the 21st Century and other Catholic books. She is a contributor to Living Faith and other Catholic blogs. She lives in Arlington, Virginia. Melanie also owns Editor for You, a publishing consultancy that since 2003 has helped hundreds of writers, publishers, and agents.

8 comments

  1. I’m so proud of you, Melanie! Same thing here. I lost nearly 15 lbs between July2010 & Oct2010. By the time we hit March 2011, I’d gained it all back. Now I’m trying to get back to the low-carb one and add in some organic produce. “I can’t” skip the gym should be stenciled on my cubicle and tattooed on my forehead! Some days I just can’t win. But I keep trying.

  2. Been there, doing that. Sigh! Thanks for sharing your “I can’t” technique. I CAN’T continue to eat like I am and remain healthy and productive. How’s that? I’m learning.

    My daughter was home last week, and we both would like to drop at least 30 pounds. If we stick together and share what works for us, we may, not only reach the goal, but stay on the other side of the line.

    As a word of encouragement for those of us that struggle with weight control, I post a short devotional on my blog on Wednesdays. Hope you’ll take the time to drop by soon My Quotes of Encouragement

  3. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9. Your blog made me think of this verse.
    Also I’m thinking of Joseph running from Potiphar’s wife. Run from those chips!

  4. Pingback: “I Can’t” ~ My Quotes of Encouragement « My Quotes of Encouragement

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *