On Mondays, I answer questions frequently asked by those considering a return to the Catholic Church. How do I know this stuff? I was away for more than 30 years myself, and am the co-author of When They Come Home: Ways to Welcome Returning Catholics, a book for pastors and parish leaders interested in this ministry.
Can the priest refuse to marry us because we’re already living together?
It depends. The priest may ask you and your fiancé/fiancée to think about why you 
decided to live together before your marriage, and why you are choosing to marry now. If the reason you want to get married is to get your parents off your back, the priest may ask that you postpone your plans.
Unless children are involved, the priest may recommend that you live separately in the time leading up to your marriage. Or are you living in the same place, celibately, because of financial reasons or a family-related crisis?
The answer for each of these situations could be different depending on your reasons and what the priest sees in the relationship between you and your spouse-to-be. If you are living together for any reason, it’s best to be upfront in your early discussions with the pastor so that there are no surprises late in the game for you, your beloved, or the priest.
