On Mondays, I answer questions frequently asked by those considering a return to the Catholic Church. How do I know this stuff? I was away for more than 30 years myself, and am the co-author of When They Come Home: Ways to Welcome Returning Catholics, a book for pastors and parish leaders interested in this ministry.
So I signed up to be on the parish Web site team and, to be honest, it’s not working out. The others have been doing things the same way forever and they don’t want to listen to my ideas because I’m new to the parish. How do I get out of this?
That’s the funny thing about church committees. Even more than in professional organizations or 
homeowners’ associations, you get thrown together with all sorts of people, many of whom you have nothing in common with, at least on the surface, other than your faith. And sometimes, that just doesn’t feel like enough.
This may have much to do with the fact you’re new to the committee, much more than that you’re new to the parish. Consider using the same skills you’d use in those other groups to foster collaboration and unity. Listen. Refrain from the need to wage and/or win every battle. Pick your spots. Ask about why they do something a particular way. There may be budget or technological limitations that everyone but you knows about. Offer your way as an option rather than the only path for sane people. It may turn out your gifts are to be used there… and you may grow in acceptance.
If you’re frustrated to the point that your presence isn’t a positive experience for you or the others, simply say what you did in your question: It’s not working out. There’s no need to point fingers or assign blame. But please don’t let this be your last volunteer effort. Check the bulletin or contact the parish office for help in finding a new place to offer your gifts.
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