On Mondays, I answer questions frequently asked by those considering a return to the Catholic Church. How do I know this stuff? I was away for more than 30 years myself, and am the co-author of When They Come Home: Ways to Welcome Returning Catholics, a book for pastors and parish leaders interested in this ministry.
Why do we have to take classes before we can get married in the Church?
The classes are designed to help couples see areas of possible conflict so that they can be addressed now rather than after the wedding. Generally, you’ll meet with a priest to discuss your plans, and then take a class (often called pre-Cana) with other couples. Some versions of the class take a day; others involve weekly meetings. You’ll be asked 
to think about and talk with your fiancé/fiancée about issues such as money, sex, and gender roles. Most likely, you’ll be given a questionnaire; there are no wrong answers, the purpose is to compare results with your beloved and identify areas you need to work on. If serious differences emerge, you may be asked to delay your wedding and seek additional guidance from your parish or an outside counselor.
Marriage is a big deal, for you, your spouse, your community and the Church. You blend your life with another, someone whom you certainly love very much but who grew up in a different family and has different life experiences. The plan is that you’ll be together forever. It just makes sense to invest some time with a facilitator identifying and discussing differences now, rather than have a problem come to the surface in a few years.
