Are you there, HSBC/USPS/WETA? It’s me, your customer.

When I have a customer service issue, I generally deal directly with the vendor, and complain to a few friends. But I’m in the midst of three experiences that have failed to resolve via my usual means, that show such a lack of service that I have decided to share them here.

1. HSBC. Ah, HSBC. Once you wanted to be the world’s local bank. Your strategy has changed. I understand. But I became a customer anyway given the terrific Internet savings account interest rates you were offering four years ago. I added a debit account. I appreciate that you approved me for a credit card. But why is it so difficult when I travel abroad? In the fall of 2010, I found myself at the Lisbon airport on a Sunday morning three-way call with members of your card team and your fraud team because your systems were down for maintenance, which made it difficult for you to verify the transactions you wanted me to verify. This month, I was headed to Sweden and Norway. I called card services and the bank side–twice each. I said I was going to be unplugged, no e-mail or access to my cell or home phone. I provided my city-by-city iterinary. Then during a layover at Heathrow–at about 8 a.m. local time on a Wednesday–I learned HSBC had frozen all of my accounts. I spent the next hour calling collect to the numbers on the back of my cards, only to hear from all the representatives that a. the system was down, b. they didn’t have the authority to do anything, and c. you’ve sold servicing of your credit card portfolio so HSBC couldn’t help me and couldn’t tell me who could. Reassuring. I got to Stockholm, where pay phones aren’t as plentiful as they are at Heathrow. After two days, I gave up and called HSBC from my hotel. It cost me US$120 in calls to get things working again. On the positive side, one agent did apologize “for any inconvenience.” Back at home, I can’t get from the call center or the local branch the name of someone to whom to send a letter of complaint.
2. USPS. Last fall, I went to the Pacific Northwest for ten days. I filled out the online mail hold form a week in advance. I received a confirmation. The mail still was delivered every day (as evidenced by the packages left at the apartment building’s front desk). When I called USPS, a supervisor left a strange voice message back telling me that I could indeed use the online form to have my mail held. So I tried again before the Scandinavian trip. Got a confirmation number, again. Delivery didn’t stop, again. I called USPS this morning; the agent said the local post office got the hold order and she didn’t know what happened. She did say, however, that I could try mailing in a paper hold form or leaving one in my mail box for the carrier in the future. Ah, technology.
3. WETA. I want to support public TV programming in general and the local station in particular. A few years back, they’d called for weeks and months after I’d renewed. Finally, I cut my donation and sent it in saying it would be cut even further if anyone ever called me again. The calls ceased. So far, so good. I received a plea in February and decided to respond, sending in twice my usual annual contribution. In April, I received a notice acknowledging my recent contribution and saying my membership would be expiring this month. I sent a letter back asking how that could be. No response. I came home to find a solicitation saying it wasn’t too late to renew my membership. I tried calling. But WETA is staffed just six hours a day on weekdays, and strongly urges you not to leave a message and to call back during those hours (unless they’re in a one-hour staff meeting, in which case you’re to call back later). I went to the Web site, where you are strongly urged NOT to use the message feature if you expect a response, and to call instead.

So I’m sitting here thinking–is it really too much to ask that people who have use of my money believe me when I say I’m going out of the country and to allow payments to go through? Is it too much to expect that an entity that offers an online form to temporarily suspend service would get it to the right people? Is it too much to expect that a non-profit would communicate with donors on their terms, rather than on the non-profit’s?

I guess I have my answer. Yes, it is.