On Mondays, I answer questions frequently asked by those considering a return to the Catholic Church. How do I know this stuff? I was away for more than 30 years myself, and am the co-author of When They Come Home: Ways to Welcome Returning Catholics, a book for pastors and parish leaders interested in this ministry.
I’ve started going to Mass at the parish close to my house… but I just don’t fit in. Nobody looks like me… age, dress, ethnicity. It’s not that people are jerks–they say hi and so on. But I feel alone–and uncomfortable.
It breaks my heart that you feel that way.
I get that it can be a bit daunting if you’re a single young man, and most of the people in the pews are 
happy families with grade schoolers. I get that it can be daunting if you’re a middle-aged woman, and most of the people in the pews are young enough to be your children.
That’s part of the joy of community. Once you get to know people, you may find the ones who look the most like you on the outside have the least in common with you inside. Those who are decades older or younger or who drive vehicles far nicer or so-not-as-nice as yours may turn out to have the same questions or the same passion for a particular sacrament or sacramental as you do.
It’s hard to be the one to break the ice, to join one of the myriad volunteer activities on the parish website or in the bulletin that currently draw people who’ve been there forever. It’s hard to go and sit at a table of strangers and have a doughnut after Mass. And sometimes, when you try such options, you’re going to feel ignored or rejected. But sometimes, you’ll see the face of Christ in someone you never expected to. Give it a try, please. Have some faith… and patience.
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